


Fucking Idiot

by Violet_Quaileggs



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Ian, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicidal Ian, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-09 23:02:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5559038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violet_Quaileggs/pseuds/Violet_Quaileggs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian was desperate. He couldn't think straight with nor without the meds, espicially when he had pushed the love of his life away. The blade was supposed to be the answer</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fucking Idiot

He couldn't get him out of his head. Mickey. Mickey. Mickey. All he could think of was Mickey. How he hurt Mickey, how he thought Mickey would be better off without him, the fact that Mickey was locked away in jail, the fact that he couldn't have Mickey beside tore him apart. He couldn't feel anything beside that aching, gut-wrenching feeling. He couldn't think anything through with his illness, the illness that had driven everyone away, making him push them away. The only thing he could think of, the only thing he thought could help the situation was.... the knife.

That small object with a shiny, sharp blade could bail him out of all the misery, all the pain and aching, or at least give him some fucking thing to feel other than sorrow and regrets. He grazed the sharp end across his wrist, watched as it broke the skin and spilled out the red liquid. He still couldn't feel anything, as if he was numb. He started to cut on the other arm. He watched the blood streamed out of him as he sat down on the kitchen floor, back leaned against the cupboard corner, that very place Monica sat. His strength flowed out of him along with the warm blood. He became more and more lifeless after each breath he took. Just before he thought this was finally the end, Fiona and Lip came home from their grocery shopping. They panically rushed him to the hospital, they tried to talk to him when he has woken up but he didn't say a word back. His head was still filled with images of the pale skin boy. He knew his family were worried about him, that's why he told them go away, to leave him alone. They eventually did after spending the whole day beside him. That same night, when the Gallaghers was asleep outside the hallway, he didn't sleep at all. He kept staring at his bandaged wrists. He stared at it until his eyes started to water up. Tears streamed down his face as he put those weak wrists over his forehead. He regretted it. He thought it could set thing straight. He realized he was wrong. It burned his soul when he think about how he hurt his family. 

Just when he started to break into a million pieces, a figure appeared at the door way. He glanced at it, and who was standing there made him lost his breath. He sat up quickly and faced that person. His eyes watered up as he was trembling

"M..Mick" - He muttered through his breath. He hadn't seen that pale thug for months, not once since they broke up. Mickey stared at the boy with his red eyes. He was visibly shaking when his eyes traveled down to his wrists. Ian noticed that and tried to hide it away while doging his dreadful glare.

"You.. you did that to yourself?" - Mickey asked with a shaking, broken voice. Ian didn't answer,he just looked at the floor while tears rolled down his cheek.

"Really?!" - His voice turned into an raging tone. He walked fast toward Ian and swung a punch at the boy. Ian held up a hand, pressed on his injured cheek to ease the pain, he still couldn't look Mick in the eye. Mickey panted for air as his voice lower down but still held its angered tone

"You fucking idiot" - He grunted at the crying boy before grabbing him by his neck and kissed him with every bits of love he got. He sucked on Ian trembling lips and Ian returned it in uncertainty for he was still scared. He finally gave in as soon as Mick's hand started brushing through his red hair. He whimpered as he kissed Mickey back with love and misses. Tears fell down on the both of them as they leaned their forehead together, with eyes still closed shut. Ian quickly wrapped his arms around Mick and the two hugged each other tightly while the older boy's hand kept stroking on the red head's messy hair. Ian hid his face in Mick's neck crook. He let out small cries as he took in Mickey's cigarette and booze smell he missed so much.

"I love you" - He whispered under his breath while tears drooped down him and fell on Mickey's jacket. Mick's heart skipped a beat at that phrase, not once in his life have anybody said that to him, not his family, not his fuck buddies, no one, just... Ian. He felt a pleasant ache within as if Ian just stuck his hand in and grabbed a good hold of his weakly beaten heart. Well, maybe he did.

"I love you too" - Mickey smirked in comfort and whispered back as he kissed on Ian's neck and cheek softly. Ian then broke from the hug and lay down on the bed, signaled Mickey to lay beside him as well. Mickey took the hint, stripped off his coats and climbed up the hospital bed. He wrapped himself around the boy, his warm chest pressed againts the redhead's long back. He held him close to his heart, his finger intertwined with Ian's. He caressed those injured wrists with his thumbs gently, while kissing on Ian's head. He took a big whiff of the red hair's sweat and old shampoo before he let out a long warm sigh, he smirked for how he loved this feeling. Tears fell less and less on Ian as he wrapped Mickey even tighter around him and closed his eyes with a small relaxed grin creeping on his face. He then knew he could get through this as long as he had his family and especially Mickey. And that night, inside his love's warm embrace, he had the best sleep he have ever had since all those shits started

**Author's Note:**

> So that's how I hope the end of season 6 would be like with Mickey/Noel coming back in the last minute.  
> P/s: Mickey got out of jail for overcrowding or some shit.


End file.
